Planning The Funeral Service

Music can provide comfort, express emotions that are difficult to put into words and bring back treasured memories. You may choose hymns, classical pieces, contemporary songs or music that was particularly meaningful to the person who has died.

Music can be played as mourners arrive, when the coffin enters, during a period of reflection and as people leave. Consider the lyrics, the tone of the service and any restrictions at the chosen venue. We can help confirm whether recorded or live music is available.

Funeral readings may include religious passages, poems, prayers, letters, song lyrics or extracts from a favourite book. Some families choose words that reflect the person’s beliefs, while others select a reading that captures their personality, relationships or outlook on life.

A reading can be delivered by the person leading the service, a relative or a close friend. More than one reading may be included where time allows, and religious and non-religious choices can sometimes be brought together respectfully.

A eulogy is usually delivered by a relative, friend, priest, minister or celebrant. One person may speak on behalf of the family, or several people can contribute shorter memories. There is no obligation for a family member to speak if they do not feel able to do so.

When a celebrant or minister is delivering the eulogy, they will normally meet or speak with the family beforehand. They can use the memories and information shared with them to prepare a thoughtful tribute.

A eulogy may include important moments from the person’s life, their relationships, interests, achievements and the qualities for which they will be remembered. Small, personal memories can often say more about someone than a complete account of their life.

It is usually helpful to keep the tribute sincere and focused. Gentle humour may be appropriate when it reflects the person and feels comfortable for the family. The eulogy does not need to be perfect; it simply needs to come from a place of care.

Family members and friends are welcome to speak during the funeral, provided this is agreed with the person leading the service and fits within the available time. They may deliver a reading, share a memory, give the eulogy or contribute a few personal words.

Speaking at a funeral can feel difficult, particularly when emotions are close to the surface. Notes can be taken to the lectern, and another person can be prepared to read the words if needed. A written tribute can also be included in the order of service instead.

An order of service guides mourners through the ceremony and provides a lasting keepsake. We can help arrange its design, printing and delivery once the service details have been confirmed.

It may include the person’s name, photograph, dates of birth and death, the service location and the order of music, hymns, readings, prayers and tributes. Families may also add further photographs, a poem, words of thanks, donation details or information about the wake.

Photographs can be displayed on the coffin, placed near the front of the venue, printed in the order of service or shown as part of a slideshow. Images from different stages of the person’s life can help mourners reflect on shared experiences and happy memories.

Personal belongings, awards, artwork, sports items or other meaningful objects may also be included where appropriate. We can advise what the venue allows and arrange for these items to be displayed respectfully.

A celebration of life can focus on the person’s individuality, the happiness they brought to others and the memories they leave behind. Favourite music, colourful flowers, photographs, meaningful readings and stories can all help the service feel true to them.

A celebratory funeral does not need to avoid sadness. It can acknowledge the family’s loss while also giving thanks for the person’s life. At N E Downing, we will listen carefully to your ideas and help you create a thoughtful farewell that reflects the person you knew and loved.